A night to forget
by ccany
Summary: Set in Season 7. Sam's tormented by Lucifer who won't let him be, not even in his sleep. Dean tries to help his little brother the only way he can.


This is took a while to write, but i hope it was worthwhile. If you read it and liked it please write a review, and if you read it and hated it then please _pleaseee _write a review, feedback is my best friend.

Disclaimer: i don't own anything

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It was dark outside, but the street lights were visible through the worn out drapes in the room Dean had gotten them. They had been on the road for almost three days now, and they were both in desperate need of rest. Especially Sam, who, since his wall broke down, was having trouble sleeping. Of course, he still hadn't said anything to Dean, but his dreadful dreams weren't unnoticed by his older brother. Dean had watch Sam struggle in his sleep, complaining, moaning and waking up suddenly, but he wasn't going to say anything, he had to wait until Sam was ready, or willing to speak about it.

"Come on Sammy, you have to sleep, you can't keep it up like this. It's hurting you man" Dean tried to convince his brother.

"No, it's okay, I'm really not that tired" Sam said, after a long yawn.

"That's not what your face says, Sam" Dean told him, concern written all over his face.

"It's just that…I can't..." Sam tried to explain but just the thought of telling his brother what was really going on, just to imagine the look on his face, the disappointment he would feel, were enough to make him stop.

"Look Sammy, you can tell me anything okay" Dean encouraged him.

"It's …Lucifer" Sam finally admitted "I can almost control it when I'm awake, but when I'm asleep…he takes over, and it's too much to handle".

That was it, the thing Dean feared the most, his little brother, still suffering in the hands of Lucifer, he had to do something, but nothing really came to mind. "Okay Sam, I… I understand, but, man, look at you" Dean said pointing at his brother, "If you don't rest you won't be able to keep it together, not even when you are awake".

"I _know_, Dean, but I just can't let myself fall sleep…he'll torture me, he enjoys it, putting things, images, ideas in my mind, and if I'm not careful I star acting on it" Sam said, both sad and tired.

"Okay, buddy, tell ya what, I'll stay with you okay? I'll be right by your side. I know it's not much, but I' will stop you from hurting yourself at least" Dean tried convincing his brother, but he knew they were empty words, he couldn't stop what was going on in his little brother's head, and the truth was that it hurt him as hell, because for Dean there was no worst thing in the world that watching his little brother suffer and not being able to do something to stop it.

"Come on, I'll stay with you" Dean said again sitting in the bed, moving to the middle so that Sam could lay down beside him.

"And when _you _fall sleep? Then what?" Sam asked, unable to keep the fear in his voice.

"Look, I'll be right here, by your side, I won't move, I won't fall asleep, I promise" Dean reassured his brother.

"It's not enough, Dean, that won't make it stop" Sam said almost as a whisper, sadness could be read in his face.

"Look" Dean said, getting up of the bed and holding Sam's hand, "I'll hold you, I'll stay right here, I've got you little brother, I'll promise you'll be alright"

And those were the words Sam needed to hear, he knew it wouldn't do much for his mental state, but hearing his brother so determined, and so confident gave him a little hope, "_Maybe this night will be different, with him maybe it won't hurt so much, just maybe…"_ he thought. But Dean couldn't keep his promise, Sam knew better.

Two hours went by; Dean is still awake and holding Sam's hand, absently drawing little circles with his thumb. He's been keeping a close watch on his little brother, trying to notice if his breathing became heavy, if he started sweating, if he started to move, if his muscles started to twitch but so far so good.

And then the nightmares kicked in.

The clock strikes 3:37 am. Dean was begging to fall sleep, and that's when he feels Sammy move, he tries to calm him down, grabs his arms, holds him tight, but it doesn't work. Dean touches his little brother's forehead and feels the sweat running down his temples, he then tries to pull those long locks covering his face behind his ears, and tells him reassuring words all through whispers.

"Everything is okay, you are okay, you're not in the cage, you are with me Sammy. It's not real, nothing you see is real, please Sammy." Dean keeps telling him over and over again, almost crying desperate trying to save his little brother from something he cannot see or even imagine.

Dean considers waking him up, but he is afraid of what might happen. What if it triggers something else in Sam's mind, something that's yet to come into his conscious state? He can't do that, no. But then Sam's starts to calm down, his breathing becomes regular again, and Dean lets out a breath he didn't know was holding.

Finally, Sam stirs, eyes watery. He feels his brother beneath him, and he just stays there, scared. While Dean holds him, one hand squeezing his arm just enough to reassure him while the other one moves his hair, stroking his long locks.

Sam knows Dean couldn't keep his promise, not all of it at least the nightmares still appear but he was thankful Dean had stayed, he was sure it wasn't easy for him either, if the situation was reversed and it was Dean who had Lucifer in his head, Sam knew he would do anything to keep his brother safe, and it meant that it was to do exactly what Dean was doing.

There are still a couple of hours before the night is over, but neither wants to move. They stay like that, each immerse in their own thoughts. Sam hoping next night will be easier, and Dean hoping to find a way to end his brother's misery.


End file.
